Pretty soon, they’ll want to vote, too…
So, Team Canada’s women hockey players celebrated their gold medal win with champagne, beer and cigars on the ice, after everyone else cleared out. That seems like a pretty tame celebration by Vancouver standards. Still, the photos caused some pearl-clutching south of the border and hit the headlines of almost every major news organization. And the IOC isn’t happy.
“If that’s the case, that is not good. It is not what we want to see,” he said. “I don’t think it’s a good promotion of sport values. If they celebrate in the changing room, that’s one thing, but not in public.”
Now, some people are a bit confused, wondering what the big deal is. So, I’ve compiled a helpful guide to clearly illustrate why this is such a problem.
GOOD:Time-honoured sports tradition:
BAD: Irresponsible degenerates ruining sport forever:
See, the women’s team forgot two vital things when it comes to surviving the wrath of the IOC and the dedicated finger-waggling sectors of the media.
Number one: Don’t act like men. If you feel the need to celebrate, please do so by drinking wine coolers. Or knitting. Or, how about walking five paces behind the men’s team with your gaze on the ground? ALWAYS ON THE GROUND.
Number two: Don’t act like “normal people.” Don’t you know that you’re athletes, and so everything you do must be squeaky clean. If you’re a college student superstar swimmer, don’t do what college kids do. If you’re a Canadian hockey player, don’t do what other Canadian hockey players do.
Yes, yes…I know that Marie-Philip Poulin, the 18-year-old forward who scored both of Canada’s goals (and seems to deserve a bit of celebration) was one month shy of being legal in B.C. So I admit that the beer that she had on the ice there probably corrupted her for life (far more than any that she might of consumed previously in Quebec, where she’s been above the drinking age for 11 months.)
Therefore, in fairness, I say we punish Poulin in the traditional Canadian manner for drinking underage: we give her a stern talking to about not getting caught next time.
Note: The National Post has some pretty good photos of the celebration. Check them out and weep for the children.
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